I’ve always been fascinated by America – not in some faraway, dreamy kind of way, but as something that was really part of my life. It started in my childhood, carried through my teenage years, and stuck with me as an adult. I went to the U.S. a lot – first with my parents, later on my own. My first trip was when I was just four, though I only remember bits and pieces. When I was ten, I was blown away by the endless highways stretching across the country. At fifteen, I couldn’t believe how huge the shopping malls were. But the best part? Spending time with my cousins. They took me to the beaches in Florida and showed me a bit of everyday American life – and I loved it.
Even as an adult, it still felt like this exciting, different world. I remember seeing the Golden Gate Bridge at sunset, visiting Silicon Valley, walking around Stanford University – it all left a mark. That was my last trip to the U.S. before starting a family. And honestly, I still want to show my kids all those things that amazed me back then.
But then something changed. I started noticing things I hadn’t before. The dream started to fade. It really hit me when Donald Trump became president. Up to that point, I saw America as this complicated but inspiring place. But suddenly, it felt like the country didn’t even understand itself anymore. At first, I hoped it was just a phase – some political misstep. But that hope didn’t last long. Things got worse.
By the time Trump’s second term rolled around, it was clear things had taken a turn. All those executive orders, the influence of people like Elon Musk, rising global tensions – it was hard to ignore. Import tariffs went through the roof, hurting more than helping. And then there was this symbolic stuff, like renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America” – it just felt… off. The way the U.S. handled things like the Panama Canal, Greenland, or the Ukraine war showed how unstable and unpredictable the country had become.
And it wasn’t just politics. Science took a hit too – in a country that used to lead the way in innovation. Trump’s policies cut research funding, deleted data, fired experts. Climate and health research especially suffered. The U.S. left international climate agreements and blocked global cooperation. When facts become the enemy, the world feels the impact.
But again, it’s not just about politics. For years, I saw America as a land of opportunity, full of energy and possibility. But over time, I started noticing cracks. The roads I once admired were falling apart. The giant malls were empty. The open, friendly society I remembered felt more divided than ever.
For a long time, America was this place I dreamed about – always a little bigger, a little flashier, a little freer than anywhere else I knew. And maybe it really was like that once. But now? Now I can’t ignore the reality anymore. A country stuck in endless political fights, unsure of what it stands for.
Sure, there are still amazing things about the U.S. – the nature, the creativity, the people who push through tough times and make something of themselves. But the dream of a perfect America? That’s gone for me. And maybe that’s just part of growing up – letting go of the big ideas we used to believe in so strongly. It hurts, but maybe that’s what growing up really means – even when it comes to how you see a country.
As I let go of that old illusion, I’m starting to see America in a new way. I see its contradictions, but I also want to understand it better. It’s not just about politics – it’s personal. I want to see the whole picture – not just the land of endless possibilities, but also the deep cracks running through it. The road to a new relationship with America isn’t clear yet, but I’m hoping it leads to a better understanding – of the country, and of how I feel about it.